’tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Back in church at Korin we sing this hymn pretty often and boy have I come to realise how the words ring so true, every week. And on Sundays I think hey I sang that last week and how ‘I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er’ throughout the long week. :)

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end

 

sliding down hills in kolar.  :)

home

The last time I was home was 9 months ago having spent 3 months in India.

This time I’m back after finishing my first year of MBBS.

My heart is full. Full of emotions, of events, of memories. Of everything that has happened to me, to those around me.

There are too many stories, too many memories to etch out here that I’m reliving even here at home.

Suffice to say it amazes me, and if there is one thing God has taught me, is that He is the most Creative and Amazing Designer, and He orchestrates life stories absolutely beautifully that just stuns me each time.

And for that I am thankful. And ever so grateful.

First year was hard. So hard. Especially the last few exam weeks, the stress of doing our final practicals 3 days in a row because of our visa problem. But somehow, He carried me through, each day was a testimony in itself, but just like how He had been faithful the whole year, what made me think that He couldn’t remain faithful just a little longer?

Stuck this verse on my wall throughout the exams and boy God did keep His promise each exam!

“For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.'"                                                                                                                                    - 1 Kings 17:14

India, my home for the past year. And to my surprise (or not) somewhere I have already begun to miss.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting

I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

-John Waller

to think

‘Ayamas’ as we call them here are old (or young) indian aunties who make their living doing odd jobs- cleaning, washing, sweeping, weeding to earn a meagre living.

After everyone has taken food from the mess it’ll be their turn. And instead of sitting at the tables many though there are, they sit on the dirty floor eating what’s left over. They collect stale bread, food no one wants, shoving them into plastic bags or straight into their striking green sarees to bring home to feed their families.

This week I came across one of them hobbling along the walkway. To my horror her right foot was swelled up and heavily bandaged yet she still came to work. What kind of work could she do I wonder. The next day I saw her again and what I saw made me want to cry! She had tied a plastic bag around her bandaged foot and she was hobbling along (other foot was bare) since usually they walk barefooted anyway. Eveyday those strong feet carry them one hour plus to work here and back. Crazy.

And sometimes I wonder, why the injustice? Many people their age have an opportunity, getting an education. And for them it seems like its impossible to get out of their poverty.

The biggest jewellery store in Bangalore. Just contrast it with pictures from my last post!

I admire their grit, their hard work and their simple life.

Salute.

india wins the world cup, and i get to keep my hair

Do forgive the title, but India winning the cricket world cup today, (congratulations to you if you knew it was going on) means that my hair is safe. My extremely cricket-crazy passionate local friends threatened to pull my hair out when I took allegiance to Pakistan and Sri Lanka just to annoy them, haha.

Anyway, the atmosphere here is crazy after winning. They have been screaming for about 8 hours (that’s how long a cricket game lasts!).

But I digress. Here are some pics from my recent community medicine field trip: 

On the way to a primary health centre in a village.

Waiting for final year medical interns to start their presentation on TB to schoolchildren.

Visiting a village, where most of the people here make a living out of being a blacksmiths. These men are actually in the process of fashioning a knife.

Local village women.

This is their first time meeting a Chinese. LOL.

Little Indian boy.

The black marks on this girl’s face and hand is supposed to ward off evil omens.

My group visiting house by house.

At sunset in the village.

Lake overlooking the place where we stayed.

Chilling at the roof top

a break

we visited this cafe along church street, bangalore 3 times in 3 days, haha

5 days with my parents, and the weekend with a few good friends- sums up a great GREAT break after my 2nd internals.

Meeting my parents, bringing them around places that seem familiar now to me but an eye-opener to them lol, celebrating friendships old and new and realising how time has changed so many things, both amusing and amazing.

Class kicks in tomorrow. Hello, head and neck. And, brain.

Dear August, I await you!!! =D

turn back time

If I could I would turn back time to just maybe one random day when I would still be in secondary school, just one day- a normal day at school with friends, lounging at home being with my beloved family and just a sense of being home. In Malaysia- where everything is familiar and comfortable- oh don’t get me started on the food.

But sadly its not possible. Sometimes I look at the date and check back a silent gasp- February? March 2011? Too fast –time flies! Seven months have I been here and though subconsciously I expect everything at home except me to remain the same- as time moves on, they change as well.

So many things has happened to the people I know this last 7 months- joyful and sorrowful meshed up into a bundle. And still, time moves on, changing more things, more events occuring, life lessons taught, trials undertook, joys lived.

And in all that- here I am slaving in med school, grateful to God for this great chance yet finding too often absolutely weak and in need of Him and His strength, and missing home of course, and the people there.

Finished 3 theory papers these week and starting with practicals next week for my 2nd Internals. I think I have taken more exams in my last 7 months than in my whole life lol. And still it goes on and on, this impartation of more and more knowledge of the human body, how it works, how it gets sick.

Which leads me to the time machine- or any machine for that matter that can fly me home- spend one night in my own dear bed with home cooked food that is packed with meat, surrounded by people I miss dearly and back again here. I wish. 

I don't really know how long forever is
But that's how long I'm gonna give my life
Everything I face that tries to tear me down
No I won't back away from the sacrifice
I won't forget what your love means to me
You're always there to light my way

When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that'll serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
So I will always stand amazed

Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won't forget what you're love means to me
You're always there to light my way

You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak

friday

It’s the second friday of the month, which means tomorrow is the only Saturday with no class, which means most of my local friends- 2 hours away from Bangalore, and even those who live 16 hours in another state, have gone home, leaving us desperately homesick Malaysians mournfully pining for home. Haha.

This week during dissection we got to see an old Indian man with inguinal hernia who would undergo surgery the next day. He was lying on the table in the Osteology room while ten by ten students came to peer at his inguinal region, while our lecturer explained and demonstrated how when he coughed, the hernia could be seen protruding. As he laid there in lithotomy position, hands covering his eyes, I couldn’t help but to appreciate him and what I’m learning here, hands on.

This week we removed the small intestines, exposed the kidneys, and to day traced the arteries and veins from it, even found an extra renal vein from the inferior vena cava!

The days are flying by fast- another week is almost gone, Physio PCT on Monday and my 2nd Internals the week after. Can’t wait to go home in July cause I’m missing home like crazy.

For now, its to be strong, learn as much as I can and remember that in every season, You O Lord, are still God, and I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.

follow

Every Monday (almost every week) I have PCTs (Part Completion Tests) which though its good to make you really know the topics covered, is rather a pain cause it means consistent studying, studying and more studying.

After Anatomy PCT today and all the mugging up the last few days on the abdomen, embryology and histology… hitting the books tonight seems too daunting a thought, which brought me here, somewhere I have neglected since coming to India. Haha.

Its been some time since I’ve really wrote anything other than assignments assignments and more assignments, but today I just wanted to write about something simple, something real, and hopefully it will encourage you, whoever you may be who still visit this very neglected site haha.

In church last Sunday as usual the choir performed. Before they started singing they shared that the song they were about to sing was from North-eastern India (which is where most of my church members are from). They told of the song being composed from the jungles in the midst of persecution for their faith. To my surprise they started singing the familiar hymn ‘I have decided to follow Jesus’.

Having no idea that this hymn is actually an Indian folk melody, and watching them sing this simple song, the descendants of those who suffered for the gospel that inspired the songs, and oft late hearing their hopes and dreams of going into ministry after completing their graduation from bible college by the end of this month, did something to me, blessed me.

Often we can be so caught up with our everyday life that we forget God’s call to follow Him. I know I have done and often still fall in the trap of doing so. Often I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of workload as a medical student, and more so it being even harder in India, frustrations at little petty problems that are as the adjective used, petty.

As I look back at my half a year in India, I see how God has truly ‘made a way when there seemed to be no way.’  One of my early days here when it was really tough this song came on my mp3 and in my depression I dismissed it, for I couldn’t see how it would be possible, looking around with my human eyes.

But now I truly can testify that God has been good. And He has been more than good. He has been faithful, true and my only Source of strength each day. I look back and am amazed how He has answered my prayers, big and small, and opened doors and different circumstances that blow my mind in ways I would never have imagined, because I would never have the creativity to think out an awesome plan like my God can. 

Slowly I’m settling to the life here, disarming some wrong notions I had instilled in me at the beginning of what’s it like here, observing the people, their culture, and way of thinking. And being prouder and loving my own country more and more day by day.

Sure I have 5 more years and I have no idea what is ahead, but I have decided to follow Jesus, and there’s no turning back, no turning back.

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Tho' none go with me, I still will follow,
Tho' none go with me I still will follow,
Tho' none go with me, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

My cross I'll carry, till I see Jesus;
My cross I'll carry till I see Jesus,
My cross I'll carry till I see Jesus;
No turning back, No turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me,
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.

two months and counting

Just 2 short months back in India after that short but oh so sweet vacation in Malaysia and already it feels like it has been ages!

Somehow here they really know how to push you to your limits, everyday mentally, physically, yet med school in India though no doubt TOUGH but what you learn, invaluable.

In 2 months-

dissected the heart and its interior

held the lungs with our hands and learnt what there is to know about it

opened up the abdomen

removed the testes from the scrotum

performed urine tests

learnt the basics of general examinations for patients

how to take radial pulse, blood pressure

-and I’m getting my first stethoscope tomorrow!

Lord You are good and Your mercy endures forever

I know in my last post I said that the next time I update would be from the land of India, quite sadly that wasn’t the case and here I am, typing this, in the beloved land of Malaysia, having already spent 3 months in India, which honestly felt much longer than that.

Vidhana Soudha- parliament bulding in Bangalore

Quite frankly I don’t know how to start but that it has been one enormous experience in every single way possible. My first month there was tough and often I wished that I could just pack my bags and go home because every part of me felt alien and foreign where I was, annoyance at the way the academic system in India was run and discontentment at the simple way of life. Not to be too over-exaggerating or what but it was a pretty low point of my life. Lol.

our hostel

At that point of time I really thank God for all the love, prayers and encouragements first and foremost to my amazing family ( I happen to have the most incredible family btw), a supportive home church, and many encouraging friends no matter where they were. Each day was a new challenge and I had to literally drag myself out of bed amidst morning blues to go to class- yet finding His steadfast love to be ‘new every morning’ and His grace sufficient, one day at a time.

outside my uni

my uni’s admin building. pretty impressive, eh?

Studies. It has been pretty intense to put it mildly. Classes are from 9 to 4 daily, (2 hours of lectures, 2 hours practicals, 2 hours dissections), Monday to Sat (save one Sat a month). Most Mondays we have a Part Completion Test (PCT) which means we have to study almost… all the time. Lol. I have never studied more in my life before and yet theres always something you haven’t studied. Maybe its because its medicine, and maybe its India. Everyday lecturers and PGs randomly pounce on you- be it during lectures or practicals or dissections with all kinds of questions, so you do have to study, or you’ll end up feeling really stupid. Each day you are taught a gazillion new things and are expected to master them by the next day. And all those assignments! Haha. But I love what I’m studying, finding it really interesting, and I have no regrets choosing this. (Though it is rather A LOT.)

our driver loading our medical books to the top of the jeep

As a whole, India is a really interesting country. The roads are crazily bumpy and once I took this what I call a legendary trip 9 hours roadtrip to Mangalore which was…let’s just say legendary. People horn all the time I don’t think they know that signal lights exist, if you want to turn left or turn right, just sound your horn. In fact, just horn the whole time. Lol, even all the big trucks have a sign behind asking you to ‘sound your horn’. In fact since they horn all the time, some of their horns even have melodies to it to make it sound more…melodious? Lol. Even when cars reverse, some have melodies to it. Traffic is c-r-a-z-y. Auto drivers whiz in and out, left and right, leaving you with near-death experiences. Lol. But its unique, the whole experience and I can’t wait to travel to other places in India.

soundhorn! and do notice what else is written on the truck, haha

an old auto used for carrying goods

Studying in India is an experience that I guess is really different from elsewhere. Where else would you be able to find 6 girls crammed into a tiny auto on a rainy night speeding away in Kolar, or being in an auto at 10 plus in the night whizzing through the streets of Bangalore to bring you to your hotel room which so happens to be on top of a pub which *phew* plays modern Western songs instead of Bollywood songs. Lol. Or the extremely strong green-sareed indian aunties (ayamas) who grabbed my 30 kg luggage bag and put in on THEIR HEAD without blinking when I first arrived. Or the fact that I had real bones in room for osteology haha.

my name tag, and yes that’s a real human clavicle!

Animals. The fact that I have a paragraph about this is because often I feel like I’m living in a zoo, not a university campus. There are panicky cats that run about, dogs that are scared of you, monkeys-old and young alike that swing from tree to trees nimbly Tarzan-style as you walk underneath in holy fear (because you’re carrying food from the mess), flocks of sheep(!!!), frogs, etc etc.

sheep!

baby monkey outside our window

Food. I guess that its not Mangalore or anywhere else where you do get good food easily, even hotel food at amazing prices. Love the food when I was there! Here you’ll be ok if you’re a vegetarian as the mess serves vege 6 days a week. Doesn’t help that its the same menu every week and I haven’t got accustomed to those weird diluted curries haha. Being the hopeless carnivore that I am, I’m constantly craving meat. Fortunately we do have a kind auto driver who does food deliveries- my source of meat. In Kolar there are not that many places to eat, but there are a few- ‘Woody’s’ (which is purely vegetarian), and a few Muslim restaurants which is quite delicious actually.

this is what we eat for Saturday lunch. my only pic of the mess food. no mood to take more haha

fried rice at Limra’s- one of the muslim restaurants. tastes like chinese fried rice!

Way of life. When I first came here, it was a little hard to adjust because we take many little things for granted back in Malaysia. It kept blacking out! A few times a day and more than just a few minutes- but its better now and though it still blacks out everyday we have gotten used to it, automatically clicking on our study lamps. Water isn’t too big a problem except that it has a habit of promptly disappearing when I’m halfway through washing my clothes. -.- In Kolar people live very simply, you can see doctors with stethoscopes around their necks riding into the hospital on their scooters, however there are very rich people esp in Bangalore. The chasm between the poor and the rich is too wide- beautiful new developments and buildings amidst small barefooted beggar children running around barefooted in a construction site. Its an uneven mix- the old and the new.

a village called Sugutur in Kolar

Fellow Malaysians. When I first came here, I wasn’t really close to those in my batch when we were in KTT. In fact we were a very unlikely mix- I mean none of us were really from the same ‘clique’ as some may call it. But being  in a foreign country its good to have each other and I found that we are identified first and foremost as Malaysians- not Malay, Chinese, Indian, just Malaysians. In fact, I’ve never heard the word ‘Malaysian’ being spoken of so many times as in those 3 months. Our seniors have been amazing to us, and its heart-warming to experience the spirit of ‘1-Malaysia’ as I now-so-very-cheesily-put-it out of our own country.

our batch of Malaysians, save 2

Church. Its nothing less than a miracle that I found an english-speaking church to go to at a Bible college just 5 minutes away from my uni. Its all God’s providence and I really thank Him for it. I love the way that in the service we go from blasting Hillsongs ‘Óne Way’ with electric guitars, bass and drums to opening our hymnals and singing really really old songs with the organ. And the fact that most of the congregation are ‘sepet’ as well (just like me!), being from north-eastern India.

choir in church

Weather. I love the weather here! Its almost never hot- I don’t know the exact temperature but its very cooling-something like Genting or Camerons. Love the irony that I can wear sweaters and jackets in India! Haha.

the walkway I take to class

As a whole, I guess its about keeping my attitude right and my focus on why I’m there. Its not easy- in fact its very terribly tough often. As time goes by I find myself settling in better, getting more accustomed to where I am and what I am doing, finding my niche where I am. Often me and my friends would fall into the trap of comparing- with other unis in India or with other countries and it isn’t good because we can’t change where we are but its our perspective that matters most. Maybe it isn’t the most comfortable and modern of all places, nor does it have awesome food at the mess or amazing facilities, but we do have very brilliant lecturers and PGs (post grads) and a very cooling weather here in Kolar such that we almost never sweat, and numerous other blessings.  I have to be strong and remember that I’m studying for a purpose greater than just obtaining my MBBS, and for something bigger, greater than what I see around me. And not forgetting the valuable experiences we’ll have here, and trusting that God’s grace is sufficient, always.

 

There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross                                                                                                                    You broke my shame and sinfuless                                                                                                     You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny                                                                                                              Through the storm and through the fire                                                                                         There is truth that sets me free                                                                                                          Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger                                                                                                                                          You are stronger
Sin is broken                                                                                                                                                  You have saved me                                                                                                                                         It is written Christ is risen                                                                                                                             Jesus You are Lord of all

No beginning and no end                                                                                                                                You're my hope and my defence                                                                                                           You came to seek and save the lost                                                                                                     You paid it all upon the cross

So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher

“Hillsongs- Stronger”

today!

I’m blessed. The last few days have been great- last farewells, so many goodbyes, well wishes, prayers, blessings, gifts, angpows, smses, calls etc.

Thank you all of you for the time and effort you gave me. Really really appreciate each and everyone of you. :)

I’m leaving Malaysia for India tonight at 10.10pm. I’m excited, psyched up, happy and sad all at once to discover the incredible and not-so-incredible part of India, blessings- the obvious and those in disguise.

So I guess the next time I update, it’ll be from the land of India.

God bless! :)

bring on the chapati!

I think I’ll slap myself for posting this pictures when I reach India.

Location: Dragon-i, Pavilion

sauteed spare pork rib with signature sauce.

fried la mian (longevity noodles) with meat and black fungus.

sauteed shrimp with salted egg yolk. THIS WAS AMAAAAZZZZING. lol.

shanghainese steamed meat dumpling. (xiao long pau)

honeydew sago cream.

So, exactly one week to go! After so many stories, facebook pictures, updates, statuses about the land of India, I’m no longer wishing for time to slow down. Seven more days to seeing India through my own eyes, and starting a brand new chapter. Sure I don’t know what to expect, and there are so many things uncertain, but I want to trust God for what I cannot see, for each step of the way.

I am still confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the LORD  in the land of the living. –Psalms 27:13

So what I can say now is…

Bring on the chapati!

four three four

 

Four different university placements,

Three different places in India,

Four different departure dates.

To Ms Lynthia Wong my super slimmed-down ex-roommate, I know you’ll be just fine in India. Stay strong in the Lord and have fun shopping in Mangalore! I know you’ll be one super hyper bubbly dentist.

Thinking back, its funny, our frantic countdown of A2 to finish, our speculations of what India would be like, how our university placements would turn out. All our memories, too many to record, too unique to describe, and too racist to verbalise here, I’ll remember with a smile.

:)

and many an evil chuckle.

:p

soaking up malaysia!

19 more days,

grasping at time

to soak up Malaysia

:)

Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya

Incredible India, a paradox

When I think of India, there’s always this sense of intrigue to it, a whiff of mystery, a dash of the unknown. Everything associated to this exotic country seems just so different.

After two years of knowing one day I would go this place, to study and live for the entirety of my university life, its finally just a little less than a month away.

No doubt I would be more gungho in excitement and less worried if I were going somewhere else *cue European country*, nevertheless at this stage I wouldn’t choose to trade countries. I am grateful to God for this scholarship, this chance to study medicine in a country lauded by many for this particular field.

In all honesty, my cup of feelings is a mixture of everything. I look forward to it and yet I dread it. I’m reluctant to go and yet I’m willing. I’m afraid to leave the comfort of home yet I know its time to be independent. I’m rearing to start studying medicine and yet I worry. I do not want to leave Malaysia and yet I want to. I want to be a doctor and yet I’m afraid to.

I’m a paradox.

something quirky

this time for africa!

The thing about World Cup, is the way it brings people together. Where else would you see North and South Korea playing in the same tournament?

Thankfully, this is not South vs North. That would be World War III ! Its Spain vs Portugal, a mighty clash all the same.

The players are representatives not only of countries, but continents. Japan vs Paraguay was also in fact an Asia vs South America clash, both of which have never entered the quarterfinals before. Paraguay wrote their name in the history books last night to the anguish of Japan, and all Asia.

But the funny thing is, the World Cup makes football fans of whom previously may not be football fans. I guess the global excitement and thrill of the game is just too much to bear. :p. Here a Spanish fan blows the vuvuzela.

So, this morning I had the usual early morning match routine of 1 hour nap before game-wake up-groggily-change into something more football fanish (yeah I know I’'m weird) –start watching the game-exchange msgs with my bro and other football crazy friends-half time get snacks- Spain scores woohoo-final whistle-“yay” kind of msgs received from fellow Spain fans.

And then… I almost dropped out of my chair. I got a msg from this person:

Woohoo spain! :-D yay!

Haha I know this is making a mountain out of a molehill but Said Person don’t usually watch football and I never thought Said Person would wake up at 2.30 am in the morning for a match that is not even quarterfinals yet.

Eventhough I tried to influence Said Person to do so, I didn’t think Said Person would do it.

Welcome into the fold, Said Person. I feel proud to have successfully converted Said Person into a football fan, and that of Spain.

Viva La Espana!

*congratulatory pat on the back*

Till the next post! :)

#photo credits to soccernet.com