’tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Back in church at Korin we sing this hymn pretty often and boy have I come to realise how the words ring so true, every week. And on Sundays I think hey I sang that last week and how ‘I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er’ throughout the long week. :)

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end

 

sliding down hills in kolar.  :)

home

The last time I was home was 9 months ago having spent 3 months in India.

This time I’m back after finishing my first year of MBBS.

My heart is full. Full of emotions, of events, of memories. Of everything that has happened to me, to those around me.

There are too many stories, too many memories to etch out here that I’m reliving even here at home.

Suffice to say it amazes me, and if there is one thing God has taught me, is that He is the most Creative and Amazing Designer, and He orchestrates life stories absolutely beautifully that just stuns me each time.

And for that I am thankful. And ever so grateful.

First year was hard. So hard. Especially the last few exam weeks, the stress of doing our final practicals 3 days in a row because of our visa problem. But somehow, He carried me through, each day was a testimony in itself, but just like how He had been faithful the whole year, what made me think that He couldn’t remain faithful just a little longer?

Stuck this verse on my wall throughout the exams and boy God did keep His promise each exam!

“For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.'"                                                                                                                                    - 1 Kings 17:14

India, my home for the past year. And to my surprise (or not) somewhere I have already begun to miss.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting

I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

-John Waller

to think

‘Ayamas’ as we call them here are old (or young) indian aunties who make their living doing odd jobs- cleaning, washing, sweeping, weeding to earn a meagre living.

After everyone has taken food from the mess it’ll be their turn. And instead of sitting at the tables many though there are, they sit on the dirty floor eating what’s left over. They collect stale bread, food no one wants, shoving them into plastic bags or straight into their striking green sarees to bring home to feed their families.

This week I came across one of them hobbling along the walkway. To my horror her right foot was swelled up and heavily bandaged yet she still came to work. What kind of work could she do I wonder. The next day I saw her again and what I saw made me want to cry! She had tied a plastic bag around her bandaged foot and she was hobbling along (other foot was bare) since usually they walk barefooted anyway. Eveyday those strong feet carry them one hour plus to work here and back. Crazy.

And sometimes I wonder, why the injustice? Many people their age have an opportunity, getting an education. And for them it seems like its impossible to get out of their poverty.

The biggest jewellery store in Bangalore. Just contrast it with pictures from my last post!

I admire their grit, their hard work and their simple life.

Salute.

india wins the world cup, and i get to keep my hair

Do forgive the title, but India winning the cricket world cup today, (congratulations to you if you knew it was going on) means that my hair is safe. My extremely cricket-crazy passionate local friends threatened to pull my hair out when I took allegiance to Pakistan and Sri Lanka just to annoy them, haha.

Anyway, the atmosphere here is crazy after winning. They have been screaming for about 8 hours (that’s how long a cricket game lasts!).

But I digress. Here are some pics from my recent community medicine field trip: 

On the way to a primary health centre in a village.

Waiting for final year medical interns to start their presentation on TB to schoolchildren.

Visiting a village, where most of the people here make a living out of being a blacksmiths. These men are actually in the process of fashioning a knife.

Local village women.

This is their first time meeting a Chinese. LOL.

Little Indian boy.

The black marks on this girl’s face and hand is supposed to ward off evil omens.

My group visiting house by house.

At sunset in the village.

Lake overlooking the place where we stayed.

Chilling at the roof top

a break

we visited this cafe along church street, bangalore 3 times in 3 days, haha

5 days with my parents, and the weekend with a few good friends- sums up a great GREAT break after my 2nd internals.

Meeting my parents, bringing them around places that seem familiar now to me but an eye-opener to them lol, celebrating friendships old and new and realising how time has changed so many things, both amusing and amazing.

Class kicks in tomorrow. Hello, head and neck. And, brain.

Dear August, I await you!!! =D

turn back time

If I could I would turn back time to just maybe one random day when I would still be in secondary school, just one day- a normal day at school with friends, lounging at home being with my beloved family and just a sense of being home. In Malaysia- where everything is familiar and comfortable- oh don’t get me started on the food.

But sadly its not possible. Sometimes I look at the date and check back a silent gasp- February? March 2011? Too fast –time flies! Seven months have I been here and though subconsciously I expect everything at home except me to remain the same- as time moves on, they change as well.

So many things has happened to the people I know this last 7 months- joyful and sorrowful meshed up into a bundle. And still, time moves on, changing more things, more events occuring, life lessons taught, trials undertook, joys lived.

And in all that- here I am slaving in med school, grateful to God for this great chance yet finding too often absolutely weak and in need of Him and His strength, and missing home of course, and the people there.

Finished 3 theory papers these week and starting with practicals next week for my 2nd Internals. I think I have taken more exams in my last 7 months than in my whole life lol. And still it goes on and on, this impartation of more and more knowledge of the human body, how it works, how it gets sick.

Which leads me to the time machine- or any machine for that matter that can fly me home- spend one night in my own dear bed with home cooked food that is packed with meat, surrounded by people I miss dearly and back again here. I wish. 

I don't really know how long forever is
But that's how long I'm gonna give my life
Everything I face that tries to tear me down
No I won't back away from the sacrifice
I won't forget what your love means to me
You're always there to light my way

When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that'll serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
So I will always stand amazed

Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won't forget what you're love means to me
You're always there to light my way

You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak

friday

It’s the second friday of the month, which means tomorrow is the only Saturday with no class, which means most of my local friends- 2 hours away from Bangalore, and even those who live 16 hours in another state, have gone home, leaving us desperately homesick Malaysians mournfully pining for home. Haha.

This week during dissection we got to see an old Indian man with inguinal hernia who would undergo surgery the next day. He was lying on the table in the Osteology room while ten by ten students came to peer at his inguinal region, while our lecturer explained and demonstrated how when he coughed, the hernia could be seen protruding. As he laid there in lithotomy position, hands covering his eyes, I couldn’t help but to appreciate him and what I’m learning here, hands on.

This week we removed the small intestines, exposed the kidneys, and to day traced the arteries and veins from it, even found an extra renal vein from the inferior vena cava!

The days are flying by fast- another week is almost gone, Physio PCT on Monday and my 2nd Internals the week after. Can’t wait to go home in July cause I’m missing home like crazy.

For now, its to be strong, learn as much as I can and remember that in every season, You O Lord, are still God, and I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.

follow

Every Monday (almost every week) I have PCTs (Part Completion Tests) which though its good to make you really know the topics covered, is rather a pain cause it means consistent studying, studying and more studying.

After Anatomy PCT today and all the mugging up the last few days on the abdomen, embryology and histology… hitting the books tonight seems too daunting a thought, which brought me here, somewhere I have neglected since coming to India. Haha.

Its been some time since I’ve really wrote anything other than assignments assignments and more assignments, but today I just wanted to write about something simple, something real, and hopefully it will encourage you, whoever you may be who still visit this very neglected site haha.

In church last Sunday as usual the choir performed. Before they started singing they shared that the song they were about to sing was from North-eastern India (which is where most of my church members are from). They told of the song being composed from the jungles in the midst of persecution for their faith. To my surprise they started singing the familiar hymn ‘I have decided to follow Jesus’.

Having no idea that this hymn is actually an Indian folk melody, and watching them sing this simple song, the descendants of those who suffered for the gospel that inspired the songs, and oft late hearing their hopes and dreams of going into ministry after completing their graduation from bible college by the end of this month, did something to me, blessed me.

Often we can be so caught up with our everyday life that we forget God’s call to follow Him. I know I have done and often still fall in the trap of doing so. Often I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of workload as a medical student, and more so it being even harder in India, frustrations at little petty problems that are as the adjective used, petty.

As I look back at my half a year in India, I see how God has truly ‘made a way when there seemed to be no way.’  One of my early days here when it was really tough this song came on my mp3 and in my depression I dismissed it, for I couldn’t see how it would be possible, looking around with my human eyes.

But now I truly can testify that God has been good. And He has been more than good. He has been faithful, true and my only Source of strength each day. I look back and am amazed how He has answered my prayers, big and small, and opened doors and different circumstances that blow my mind in ways I would never have imagined, because I would never have the creativity to think out an awesome plan like my God can. 

Slowly I’m settling to the life here, disarming some wrong notions I had instilled in me at the beginning of what’s it like here, observing the people, their culture, and way of thinking. And being prouder and loving my own country more and more day by day.

Sure I have 5 more years and I have no idea what is ahead, but I have decided to follow Jesus, and there’s no turning back, no turning back.

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Tho' none go with me, I still will follow,
Tho' none go with me I still will follow,
Tho' none go with me, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

My cross I'll carry, till I see Jesus;
My cross I'll carry till I see Jesus,
My cross I'll carry till I see Jesus;
No turning back, No turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me,
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.

two months and counting

Just 2 short months back in India after that short but oh so sweet vacation in Malaysia and already it feels like it has been ages!

Somehow here they really know how to push you to your limits, everyday mentally, physically, yet med school in India though no doubt TOUGH but what you learn, invaluable.

In 2 months-

dissected the heart and its interior

held the lungs with our hands and learnt what there is to know about it

opened up the abdomen

removed the testes from the scrotum

performed urine tests

learnt the basics of general examinations for patients

how to take radial pulse, blood pressure

-and I’m getting my first stethoscope tomorrow!